It just struck me today, right now, as I was walking down the corridor to respond to nature's call, that my work can be divided into three broad categories:
One. The work that I do directly for the organisation that is necessary (mainly from the organisation's point of view), routine and somewhat tedious - for example, writing progress or annual reports. I have an inbuilt resistance to actually doing this kind of work that I have to struggle against in order to get things done on time. Sometimes it actually hurts me to do these kinds of things. I still find myself unable to say no.
Two. The work that I do directly for the organisation that is necessary (more from my point of view), non-routine and in-line with my own passion - for example, facilitating group discussions on vision, strategies, organisational change, monitoring and evalaution, action research, participation, etc. Though I am not yet so great at this, I pine for opportunities to do this kind of work and struggle to create the space to do this in the way that I want, based on the principles that I either believe in or am trying to learn about.
Three. The work that I do primarily for myself, for my own learning and personal development - for example, reading articles, blogs and emails, writing my own blog or in my diary, posting comments on discussion forums and mailing lists, doing some meditation or reflection... and so on. This work fills me with satisfaction but has the danger of making me narcissistic or self-obsessed and tends to stop me from focusing properly on one. It does, however, have the fortunate advantage of helping me understand myself better.
Obtaining balance between these elements seems to be key. My service to the organisation (one) opens up a space for me to do what I am passionate about (two) - which (as far as I am concerned) is more of a service to not just the organisation but the world in general - and is, therefore, very important. On the basis of my experiences in two, I have a basis and grounding for my personal learning and development (three), which also helps me become more effective in two. Three, therefore, is integral to two and is also very, very important.
I remember someone, somewhere, talking about something called 'a social life'. As I struggle to retain a happy balance between one, two and three, I am still trying to figure out where and how this 'social life' thing fits in to my schema! That must be the bit where I go home and eat food with my house-mates, chat nonsense, jump about, have a beer and make silly jokes. And what, exactly does all that contribute to?
Friday, June 13, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Grudges and Forgiving
Sometimes, in the course of our interactions with other people we find ourselves not being able to understand each other, being unjust or receiving injustice... and more often than not this leads us to hold grudges. Perhaps there is a fear of appearing weak. Perhaps we feel insecure about something. These little mistakes and misunderstandings, inevitable in the course of our day-to-day interactions - if not dealt with in the appropriate manner, can turn into a grudge.
A grudge is rather like a virus. A virus spreads by infecting more and more cells. In some ways, a grudge is rather like the HIV virus - in the sense that it attacks the immune system - the very life-force that holds the organism (or organisation) together. I say this because grudges undermine the relationships that hold us together. It is through our relationships that we create meaning and achieve great things - none of this is done by individuals alone!
It doesn't take long for this little virus to grow inside us - at times it can become overwhelming - filling us with anger, frustration and negativity. This has direct effects on our behaviour - how do we relate to the person against whom we have a grudge, how do we talk about these people to others, what effect does that have on other people around us? Soon we are getting over-run by this virus!
Now, if I hold a grudge against you and this affects my behaviour towards you... it won't be long before you feel that there is something not-so-nice going on - and this leads to distancing. A little vicious cycle appears. I act unpleasantly with you. You act unpleasantly with me. The words I use and the way I use them suck you into my whirlpool of animosity. I bad-mouth you. I complain about you to my friends. Little undercurrents of mistrust begin to spread and soon the system is attacking itself. Like the HIV virus, this state of infection can remain incubated for a long time before it breaks out into full-blown AIDS.
Now, it may be that there is no cure for AIDS - at least not yet. But the same is not true of problems with our relationships. Relationships need to be nurtured in order to thrive. This is not some fluffy nonsense. This is real science.
And believe it or not, there is a special cure for damaged relationships. That cure is FORGIVING. It is a curious little action that is incredibly powerful - especially when it comes from the heart (superficial forgiving tends not to work). This little article might just help to make the role and importance of forgiving in the workplace a little bit clearer.
All this leads me to wonder: what is the relationship between organsiational change and organisational healing or reconciliation? Can an organisation really embark on a meaningful change journey without addressing its internal fragmentation - the rifts between people who are supposed to be collaborating with each other? Or is this healing process actually a part of the change process itself? Does the need to change bring to attention the need to heal?
It seems that so much of what organisational change is about is bringing people within an organisation together, helping them to understand each other (which may include forgiving when required) and enabling them to co-create a shared purpose that they can all strive for together. Many of the rifts that get created are of deep psychological significance - just what might it take to bridge them? What kind of conversations? What kind of facilitated reflection and interaction? Who would need to be involved?
My mind is already a-bubble with ideas! Please share yours!
A grudge is rather like a virus. A virus spreads by infecting more and more cells. In some ways, a grudge is rather like the HIV virus - in the sense that it attacks the immune system - the very life-force that holds the organism (or organisation) together. I say this because grudges undermine the relationships that hold us together. It is through our relationships that we create meaning and achieve great things - none of this is done by individuals alone!
It doesn't take long for this little virus to grow inside us - at times it can become overwhelming - filling us with anger, frustration and negativity. This has direct effects on our behaviour - how do we relate to the person against whom we have a grudge, how do we talk about these people to others, what effect does that have on other people around us? Soon we are getting over-run by this virus!
Now, if I hold a grudge against you and this affects my behaviour towards you... it won't be long before you feel that there is something not-so-nice going on - and this leads to distancing. A little vicious cycle appears. I act unpleasantly with you. You act unpleasantly with me. The words I use and the way I use them suck you into my whirlpool of animosity. I bad-mouth you. I complain about you to my friends. Little undercurrents of mistrust begin to spread and soon the system is attacking itself. Like the HIV virus, this state of infection can remain incubated for a long time before it breaks out into full-blown AIDS.
Now, it may be that there is no cure for AIDS - at least not yet. But the same is not true of problems with our relationships. Relationships need to be nurtured in order to thrive. This is not some fluffy nonsense. This is real science.
And believe it or not, there is a special cure for damaged relationships. That cure is FORGIVING. It is a curious little action that is incredibly powerful - especially when it comes from the heart (superficial forgiving tends not to work). This little article might just help to make the role and importance of forgiving in the workplace a little bit clearer.
All this leads me to wonder: what is the relationship between organsiational change and organisational healing or reconciliation? Can an organisation really embark on a meaningful change journey without addressing its internal fragmentation - the rifts between people who are supposed to be collaborating with each other? Or is this healing process actually a part of the change process itself? Does the need to change bring to attention the need to heal?
It seems that so much of what organisational change is about is bringing people within an organisation together, helping them to understand each other (which may include forgiving when required) and enabling them to co-create a shared purpose that they can all strive for together. Many of the rifts that get created are of deep psychological significance - just what might it take to bridge them? What kind of conversations? What kind of facilitated reflection and interaction? Who would need to be involved?
My mind is already a-bubble with ideas! Please share yours!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Inside Out
Today, I got a link to an article on Hypergene MediaBlog forwarded from someone on the appreciative inquiry mailing list (Stephanie West Allen). The article is an interview with Karen Stephenson and deals with the tricky question of trust - particularly looking at the whatsit 2.0 world of blogs and so forth. One part of this interview really caught my attention - perhaps because it gets to the heart of what people 2.0 (forgive me) are pining for from their institutions (can I call it institutions 2.0 without getting beaten up?). I would rather call it the authentic institution - where authenticity is basically about being inside out... In any case, I'm sure you know what I mean... So enough of my rambles and on with the quote:
Today, I trust no institutions. But institutions are made up of wonderful people. But often times those wonderful people aren’t the decision makers.
So, if you want me to pay attention to the institution, you let me see inside. Let me see the men and women behind the curtain. Give me their blogs. I want to know who they are. I’ll form my relationships with them thank you very much.
Then if I like what I see. I might trust your institution.
This is part of our evolution. To do this means that we are freeing ourselves of the so many complexes and structures that systemically obstruct our free association and our access to truth and what is right. It enables us to see through the institutional smog, greenwash or straight plain lies and deceit to what is really going on...
Of course, it demands great courage to go inside out and any individual, organisation or institution that is ready to swallow its fear, ego and pride to make this happen is, in my mind nothing less than a hero.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The (premature) tribulations of an uninitiated but aspiring mid-wife
Yesterday was the last-but-one meeting of our Appreciative Inquiry work group. The idea was that over the last few months a group of 12 people had been busy running about the organisation having conversations with people about such things as: "... a time when you feel you were really able to contribute to bringing about change...", or "... what you like best about the organisation and why"... and so on. Before the meeting I was, admittedly, a little bit nervous. What would I find? What would people have gathered? How many surveys would have been carried out? How representative would they be? Would the material be really useful? How on earth would we analyse and then present the output of a gigantic stack of interviews?
It is at this point that I humbly acknowledged that there is a great deal about the way I have handled this work over the course of the last few months that I would do very differently if given the chance. Easy to mumble this to myself in retrospect, of course - but that doesn't make it any less present right now. I would have tried to be more organised, sending out letters informing people what was going on instead of relying on word of mouth. I would have printed out lists of names for each of the people in my team to interview and tried to set fortnightly targets to avoid the last minute rush. I might even have explained the entire concept a little differently... But then it's not as though I hadn't thought about all these things... I just didn't do them... and I did have my reasons too...
So, before heading off to my meeting, I prepared what I considered to be a clever little meeting-plan that I thought might just do the trick. After going through the formalities (basically checking that at least 25% of the organisation had been conversed with) I would give a spiel in which I re-explained the purpose of all these conversations from a slightly different vantage point - one that I felt would gear people up to dig through their experiences, accept diversity and complexity and move, pretty rapidly, towards getting us some provocative propositions. After this (and making sure that I didn't drone on for more than 5-10 minutes), people would split into groups and start sharing, verbally, their experiences from the conversations, at four levels:
First, sharing of the stories, experiences or perspectives from the conversations that were most inspiring, most powerful. Second, identifying the various themes that seemed to be surfacing again and again. Third, culling out underlying values and principles that these pinnacles were founded on. Fourth, selecting quotes that communicated some of these complex ideas in very few words. And I got to spend this time sitting in silence. Then a break for lunch. Then the sharing.
The sharing is when things started getting really interesting (for me). The first part proceeded quite smoothly as the first group shared its points. There was a little discussion - mostly for the purpose of clarification - and I was primarily occupied with note-taking (which I did quite thoroughly thank you very much!). The second group then got busy with its sharing. This time, people were a little bit more eager to pipe up and share some of their own views in this context... Perhaps the sitting and listening during the first group's presentation had made them feel itchy?
Up until then, things had proceeded smoothly, there was only minor evidence of tension or emotional strain. Now, however, things got a little different as the discussion started to acquire a direction, tone and life of its own. It appeared that somehow, the discussion had got latched onto a personal issue of one of the group members. It was not long before the platform had started turning into a space for people to vent their frustration. For some reason I only seem to have managed to realise what was happening until it was a little late. The droning of the construction work going on outside was certainly not of much help!
Eventually, I managed to get us out of our ugly little rut by explaining that the issue was not getting neglected since the underlying positive principle had been duly noted by me and that we were running out of time a little and couldn't possible handle dealing with every individual worker's issues during the annual camp since (simple maths: we have 250 staff and three hours)... This led to a little bit of thinking and I got some good support from one of the most senior staff member present who explained that what we were doing could be looked at rather as (a) finding out what's best; and (b) giving suggestions of how what isn't best could become best... rather than simply pretending that everything is ok. It seemed to work. There was a pause.
I then shared a lesson I had once learned - it was about apologising. Apologies have secured me a great deal of internal peace when deep inside I have been furious. I think I have asked for apologies from just about (though not absolutely) everyone that I have entered into some kind of a conflict with. My asking for apologies is as much about me forgiving them as it is about me wanting them to forgive me... somehow asking for apologies entails a kind of general spiritual release on all sides and makes life much more bearable - certainly a great deal easier than having an ego throbbing in my chest, throat and brain and brutally suffocating what little of the divine might exist within me! There was a silence. Then I mentioned that sometimes tears would come to my eyes when I asked for apologies. There was more silence. Someone said what I had been thinking: "that's because you have to deal with your ego." There was some more silence.
I broke the silence. I wondered immediately afterwards if that was a mistake. Silences can be very good. Especially the meaningful ones. They can be better than words, I believe. But I ended it and we moved on with our work. It was getting late in the evening and some people had a long way to travel home and we were really running out of time. So we finished off with some formalities. A core team was formed to assist me in figuring out how we would get all the material that had come out into a meaningful presentation... and then I went home.
At the end of it all, later that evening, I found myself thinking. I imagined the proceedings of the camp,: groups of people sitting in circles and discussing Seva Mandir's burning issues; sharing perspectives; listening to and learning from each other; coming up with ways of creating a new organisational reality based on the emerging visions... It was really like a dream (the one I've been having for the last three years or so) - to early to say come true - but definitely imminent.
But how would I facilitate it? There would be at least 12 groups of as any as 20 people each. There is no way that I could be everywhere at once. What if someone starts ranting or getting upset? What if a cascade of grievances start to emerge? How could I get the genie back into the lamp? And then a whole load of other questions started emerging: what if management doesn't back our findings (this has been a latent, hanging around kind of a fear)? Do we have the right kind of data? Will they be picking holes in our methods? Will they challenge our 'objectivity' or question that we are not a representative sample of the oragnisation? Will they say that we have just been fed nonsense or been conned by simple, self-interested people in the organisation?
And that's the point where I wondered whether I hadn't chewed off more than I can swallow. I set myself up for something really rather big. I can imagine that for some management consultants this seems like a splash in a baby's paddling pool... but to me, this feels very much like the deep end. As I try not to drown in the multiple other commitments that I have - the organisation's annual report - things related to Delwara - I will need to pray for balance, strength and courage. There is a whole new world out there, waiting to be born. I feel like I am the mid-wife, about to conduct my first delivery, with no formal training, with no clear mentor - only concerned family members watching. And it's not just any old baby: it might just be the next messiah!
Now that is food for thought! I need to get myself ready!
It is at this point that I humbly acknowledged that there is a great deal about the way I have handled this work over the course of the last few months that I would do very differently if given the chance. Easy to mumble this to myself in retrospect, of course - but that doesn't make it any less present right now. I would have tried to be more organised, sending out letters informing people what was going on instead of relying on word of mouth. I would have printed out lists of names for each of the people in my team to interview and tried to set fortnightly targets to avoid the last minute rush. I might even have explained the entire concept a little differently... But then it's not as though I hadn't thought about all these things... I just didn't do them... and I did have my reasons too...
So, before heading off to my meeting, I prepared what I considered to be a clever little meeting-plan that I thought might just do the trick. After going through the formalities (basically checking that at least 25% of the organisation had been conversed with) I would give a spiel in which I re-explained the purpose of all these conversations from a slightly different vantage point - one that I felt would gear people up to dig through their experiences, accept diversity and complexity and move, pretty rapidly, towards getting us some provocative propositions. After this (and making sure that I didn't drone on for more than 5-10 minutes), people would split into groups and start sharing, verbally, their experiences from the conversations, at four levels:
First, sharing of the stories, experiences or perspectives from the conversations that were most inspiring, most powerful. Second, identifying the various themes that seemed to be surfacing again and again. Third, culling out underlying values and principles that these pinnacles were founded on. Fourth, selecting quotes that communicated some of these complex ideas in very few words. And I got to spend this time sitting in silence. Then a break for lunch. Then the sharing.
The sharing is when things started getting really interesting (for me). The first part proceeded quite smoothly as the first group shared its points. There was a little discussion - mostly for the purpose of clarification - and I was primarily occupied with note-taking (which I did quite thoroughly thank you very much!). The second group then got busy with its sharing. This time, people were a little bit more eager to pipe up and share some of their own views in this context... Perhaps the sitting and listening during the first group's presentation had made them feel itchy?
Up until then, things had proceeded smoothly, there was only minor evidence of tension or emotional strain. Now, however, things got a little different as the discussion started to acquire a direction, tone and life of its own. It appeared that somehow, the discussion had got latched onto a personal issue of one of the group members. It was not long before the platform had started turning into a space for people to vent their frustration. For some reason I only seem to have managed to realise what was happening until it was a little late. The droning of the construction work going on outside was certainly not of much help!
Eventually, I managed to get us out of our ugly little rut by explaining that the issue was not getting neglected since the underlying positive principle had been duly noted by me and that we were running out of time a little and couldn't possible handle dealing with every individual worker's issues during the annual camp since (simple maths: we have 250 staff and three hours)... This led to a little bit of thinking and I got some good support from one of the most senior staff member present who explained that what we were doing could be looked at rather as (a) finding out what's best; and (b) giving suggestions of how what isn't best could become best... rather than simply pretending that everything is ok. It seemed to work. There was a pause.
I then shared a lesson I had once learned - it was about apologising. Apologies have secured me a great deal of internal peace when deep inside I have been furious. I think I have asked for apologies from just about (though not absolutely) everyone that I have entered into some kind of a conflict with. My asking for apologies is as much about me forgiving them as it is about me wanting them to forgive me... somehow asking for apologies entails a kind of general spiritual release on all sides and makes life much more bearable - certainly a great deal easier than having an ego throbbing in my chest, throat and brain and brutally suffocating what little of the divine might exist within me! There was a silence. Then I mentioned that sometimes tears would come to my eyes when I asked for apologies. There was more silence. Someone said what I had been thinking: "that's because you have to deal with your ego." There was some more silence.
I broke the silence. I wondered immediately afterwards if that was a mistake. Silences can be very good. Especially the meaningful ones. They can be better than words, I believe. But I ended it and we moved on with our work. It was getting late in the evening and some people had a long way to travel home and we were really running out of time. So we finished off with some formalities. A core team was formed to assist me in figuring out how we would get all the material that had come out into a meaningful presentation... and then I went home.
At the end of it all, later that evening, I found myself thinking. I imagined the proceedings of the camp,: groups of people sitting in circles and discussing Seva Mandir's burning issues; sharing perspectives; listening to and learning from each other; coming up with ways of creating a new organisational reality based on the emerging visions... It was really like a dream (the one I've been having for the last three years or so) - to early to say come true - but definitely imminent.
But how would I facilitate it? There would be at least 12 groups of as any as 20 people each. There is no way that I could be everywhere at once. What if someone starts ranting or getting upset? What if a cascade of grievances start to emerge? How could I get the genie back into the lamp? And then a whole load of other questions started emerging: what if management doesn't back our findings (this has been a latent, hanging around kind of a fear)? Do we have the right kind of data? Will they be picking holes in our methods? Will they challenge our 'objectivity' or question that we are not a representative sample of the oragnisation? Will they say that we have just been fed nonsense or been conned by simple, self-interested people in the organisation?
And that's the point where I wondered whether I hadn't chewed off more than I can swallow. I set myself up for something really rather big. I can imagine that for some management consultants this seems like a splash in a baby's paddling pool... but to me, this feels very much like the deep end. As I try not to drown in the multiple other commitments that I have - the organisation's annual report - things related to Delwara - I will need to pray for balance, strength and courage. There is a whole new world out there, waiting to be born. I feel like I am the mid-wife, about to conduct my first delivery, with no formal training, with no clear mentor - only concerned family members watching. And it's not just any old baby: it might just be the next messiah!
Now that is food for thought! I need to get myself ready!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Going to University
Going to university is one of those things that I have been contemplating for the last four years while working with Seva Mandir, here in India. Every year I have looked at courses, every year I have ended up finding only one course that satisfied me - and even then, I found myself uncertain. Why is this and why do I feel ready now?
Over the course of the last few years I have steeped myself - mind, body and spirit - in the work that I am doing. I have been obsessive. I have tried out all kinds of experiments, methods, approaches and ideas. I have dissolved, by and large, the lines (if there were any) between my life and my work. I developed the habit of writing my thoughts, of reflecting on my self and my 'professional' practice. I have read vastly on the subjects that interest me and are related to my work - on evaluation, on organisational learning, on change, on governance, on participation, on leadership, on complexity science and its multifarious applications... the list goes on.
As a result of all this, I have learned a huge amount. I have also gained the opportunity to work directly at the field level in a community development process - crossing cultures - transforming my own perception of myself. Who I am and where I am from - questions that the answers 'Andre' and 'England' really don't seem to do justice to anymore (if they ever did). I sometimes forget that I wasn't born in India. I have known that this has been happening to me over the last few years. Before coming - although I didn't know what it would feel like - I knew that this is what would happen to me... and that is why I chose to come here.
As I traveled this personal journey of learning and change, the idea of going to university lingered on the peripheries. The more I read, the more I immersed myself and the more I strived to apply what I had learned - the action research and inquiry frameworks (internal and external, personal and participatory) and a host of methods and tools - the more I wondered what a degree might give me that I wasn't getting anyway. When I went to visit IDS (the place I just got accepted to) a few summers ago, I spoke to Robert Chambers - a hero of sorts in the field of participatory development. I told him about my work here and my interest in doing a Masters at IDS. He asked me: "If you're already doing these things, what do you expect to get from here?"
To be honest, I don't remember what I answered. I don't even know if I had an answer... But the question only added fuel to my general confusion about why I wanted to go to university at all. So I returned to my little world here in Udaipur and continued to immerse myself in my life of learning and doing. And the learning hasn't ended - it has only deepened, expanded, engaged me more thoroughly - taking me precisely in the direction that I had wanted to go in. The reason for my coming has been getting fulfilled - much as I had imagined it would - and much quite differently indeed!
So why off to study now? If I've achieved all this, then what's the point? I recently sent an email to my friends back home in England in which I laid out the following reasons:
There may be several reasons. One - it will help me to figure out if I am living in a bubble - and if so, to what extent. Two - it will put me in contact with lots of people who are basically crazy about and experienced in the same things as me. Three - it gives me a good excuse to take a break, catch up with family and friends and be a student again. Four - I might really learn something new and exciting that I hadn't had the chance to learn before. Five - it will end with me getting a little piece of paper that opens many doors faster than years of persistent effort (which sounds rather like another way of saying 'cheating' - hehehe... especially when considering the whole thing costs 11,000 quid!). Six - it's the only degree, after much searching, that I'm actually prepared to subject myself to! Six good reasons. There are probably lots more but after years of questioning... these are the ones that I'm confident about.
Is that it though? Isn't there more to it than this? One thing that struck me is that this is all about things that I hope to 'get' or 'receive'. What about what I am going to give? What about all the experience that I will now be able to take with me from here - experiences and insights that I can share with the people studying with me? Why didn't I factor this into my reasons for going? As I think about it, there is a great deal that I am already thinking about doing once I get there - ideas I want to share, experiments I want to engage in, processes I would like to set up, interactions I would like to have... Perhaps I should view my student experience not just in terms of what I get to take away but also - and perhaps more importantly - what I get to share and contribute. Indeed, perhaps this will be what I truly get to take away the most: what I put in.
Now isn't that a nice thought for the day!
Over the course of the last few years I have steeped myself - mind, body and spirit - in the work that I am doing. I have been obsessive. I have tried out all kinds of experiments, methods, approaches and ideas. I have dissolved, by and large, the lines (if there were any) between my life and my work. I developed the habit of writing my thoughts, of reflecting on my self and my 'professional' practice. I have read vastly on the subjects that interest me and are related to my work - on evaluation, on organisational learning, on change, on governance, on participation, on leadership, on complexity science and its multifarious applications... the list goes on.
As a result of all this, I have learned a huge amount. I have also gained the opportunity to work directly at the field level in a community development process - crossing cultures - transforming my own perception of myself. Who I am and where I am from - questions that the answers 'Andre' and 'England' really don't seem to do justice to anymore (if they ever did). I sometimes forget that I wasn't born in India. I have known that this has been happening to me over the last few years. Before coming - although I didn't know what it would feel like - I knew that this is what would happen to me... and that is why I chose to come here.
As I traveled this personal journey of learning and change, the idea of going to university lingered on the peripheries. The more I read, the more I immersed myself and the more I strived to apply what I had learned - the action research and inquiry frameworks (internal and external, personal and participatory) and a host of methods and tools - the more I wondered what a degree might give me that I wasn't getting anyway. When I went to visit IDS (the place I just got accepted to) a few summers ago, I spoke to Robert Chambers - a hero of sorts in the field of participatory development. I told him about my work here and my interest in doing a Masters at IDS. He asked me: "If you're already doing these things, what do you expect to get from here?"
To be honest, I don't remember what I answered. I don't even know if I had an answer... But the question only added fuel to my general confusion about why I wanted to go to university at all. So I returned to my little world here in Udaipur and continued to immerse myself in my life of learning and doing. And the learning hasn't ended - it has only deepened, expanded, engaged me more thoroughly - taking me precisely in the direction that I had wanted to go in. The reason for my coming has been getting fulfilled - much as I had imagined it would - and much quite differently indeed!
So why off to study now? If I've achieved all this, then what's the point? I recently sent an email to my friends back home in England in which I laid out the following reasons:
There may be several reasons. One - it will help me to figure out if I am living in a bubble - and if so, to what extent. Two - it will put me in contact with lots of people who are basically crazy about and experienced in the same things as me. Three - it gives me a good excuse to take a break, catch up with family and friends and be a student again. Four - I might really learn something new and exciting that I hadn't had the chance to learn before. Five - it will end with me getting a little piece of paper that opens many doors faster than years of persistent effort (which sounds rather like another way of saying 'cheating' - hehehe... especially when considering the whole thing costs 11,000 quid!). Six - it's the only degree, after much searching, that I'm actually prepared to subject myself to! Six good reasons. There are probably lots more but after years of questioning... these are the ones that I'm confident about.
Is that it though? Isn't there more to it than this? One thing that struck me is that this is all about things that I hope to 'get' or 'receive'. What about what I am going to give? What about all the experience that I will now be able to take with me from here - experiences and insights that I can share with the people studying with me? Why didn't I factor this into my reasons for going? As I think about it, there is a great deal that I am already thinking about doing once I get there - ideas I want to share, experiments I want to engage in, processes I would like to set up, interactions I would like to have... Perhaps I should view my student experience not just in terms of what I get to take away but also - and perhaps more importantly - what I get to share and contribute. Indeed, perhaps this will be what I truly get to take away the most: what I put in.
Now isn't that a nice thought for the day!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Really taking it in...
As I think back to the block level gathering of the 23rd and 24th, I increasingly feel that, for all the imperfections that might have bothered me, the event was rather good. My withdrawal from the centre of the scene gave me a wonderful chance to reflect on the entire process - the dynamics that were at work, who was speaking and who wasn't - a microcosm of the organisation in its 'natural state'!
It made clearer than ever who thinks what, which people share similar perspecitives, what are the latent tensions, and what roles different people have taken on within the organisation - challengers, representatives, mediators, etc. Rather fascinating.
All this brings home the following point: self-organisation was at work during the meeting as people impromptu - i.e. without planning - adopted various roles which both surfaced, heightened, reduced and and resolved tensions as part of a process of creating meaning and order.
This allowed me to focus on the task of harvesting - which will be invaluable as I continue along with the process of supporting the organisation in creating an integral future for itself...
I also have to keep reminding myself that this process - the run up to the annual camp, the annual camp itself and the preparation of the 6th Comprehensive Plan document - is merely a fraction of the journey that Seva Mandir has embarked on. The energy and effort that is required now must not be mistaken for the whole journey... It's just the beginning!
It can be thought of as Journey 2 -(as per this white paper from the folk at Anecdote): the phase where the organisation collectively chalks out the plan of how it is going to get to wherever it wants to go. The first journey is that of planning the process of getting ready. The third journey is the 'actual' journey.
Key lessons that emerge from this paper on Journey 2 that I really want to focus on are the following:
"It is dangerous to take an old paradigm into a new land"
"In our work with clients on the second journey, we help clients work with the narrative material in terms of making sense and meaning of it as the basis for interpretation, envisioning and planning. These stories will help them clarify: (1) What is the whole story? What are we missing? (2) What will we need to be successful in our search? (3) What is likely to challenge us? What will be our response? (4) What is the story that we are telling ourselves about this venture?"
In order to do this, it is necessary to: "(1) gather stories of past successes [that can be drawn on] to aid them in this new journey; (2) create an iterative design for reaching the vision; (3) establish the necessary roles; (4) develop the key skills and resources that will be useful for this journey."
I would add one other point to this list (though I am by no means an expert): (5) enacting the new relationships that will be required to sustain the team over the course of the next (actual) journey. Which leads me to wonder about the extent to which the process going on here has focused enough on creating a coalition of change-makers within the organisation - that is to say, people from across levels who are committed to change... Is this process too decentralised? Is it not decentralised enough? How do we balance a vision where everyone is a champion of change with a reality where only a few people are? As I think about it now, it strikes me as a good topic for a stealth outcome mapping operation... so my next side task will be putting together an OM application for an orgainsational change model!
This blog, as you may have gathered, is for my internal journey.
It made clearer than ever who thinks what, which people share similar perspecitives, what are the latent tensions, and what roles different people have taken on within the organisation - challengers, representatives, mediators, etc. Rather fascinating.
All this brings home the following point: self-organisation was at work during the meeting as people impromptu - i.e. without planning - adopted various roles which both surfaced, heightened, reduced and and resolved tensions as part of a process of creating meaning and order.
This allowed me to focus on the task of harvesting - which will be invaluable as I continue along with the process of supporting the organisation in creating an integral future for itself...
I also have to keep reminding myself that this process - the run up to the annual camp, the annual camp itself and the preparation of the 6th Comprehensive Plan document - is merely a fraction of the journey that Seva Mandir has embarked on. The energy and effort that is required now must not be mistaken for the whole journey... It's just the beginning!
It can be thought of as Journey 2 -(as per this white paper from the folk at Anecdote): the phase where the organisation collectively chalks out the plan of how it is going to get to wherever it wants to go. The first journey is that of planning the process of getting ready. The third journey is the 'actual' journey.
Key lessons that emerge from this paper on Journey 2 that I really want to focus on are the following:
"It is dangerous to take an old paradigm into a new land"
"In our work with clients on the second journey, we help clients work with the narrative material in terms of making sense and meaning of it as the basis for interpretation, envisioning and planning. These stories will help them clarify: (1) What is the whole story? What are we missing? (2) What will we need to be successful in our search? (3) What is likely to challenge us? What will be our response? (4) What is the story that we are telling ourselves about this venture?"
In order to do this, it is necessary to: "(1) gather stories of past successes [that can be drawn on] to aid them in this new journey; (2) create an iterative design for reaching the vision; (3) establish the necessary roles; (4) develop the key skills and resources that will be useful for this journey."
I would add one other point to this list (though I am by no means an expert): (5) enacting the new relationships that will be required to sustain the team over the course of the next (actual) journey. Which leads me to wonder about the extent to which the process going on here has focused enough on creating a coalition of change-makers within the organisation - that is to say, people from across levels who are committed to change... Is this process too decentralised? Is it not decentralised enough? How do we balance a vision where everyone is a champion of change with a reality where only a few people are? As I think about it now, it strikes me as a good topic for a stealth outcome mapping operation... so my next side task will be putting together an OM application for an orgainsational change model!
This blog, as you may have gathered, is for my internal journey.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Taking it all in...
Well, as my efforts at being humble go into overdrive, I've had the chance to think over a whole lot of things. All the same, I've had a whole bunch of 'not-so-humble' issues come to mind since the morning...
What is the change that I expect to see? Will I recognise it when it comes about? What if it doesn't look like what I expected? Is it already happening?
This is probably where I need the most grounding. I am a dreamer. I tend to get carried away with fantastic images of these flexible, light, dynamic and evolving organisations that are continuously shifting shape with highly porous boundaries but gradually organising themselves around a set of core values - such as equality, truth, mutual respect and tolerance, environmental sustainability, inclusiveness... and so on... I can further concretise this in specific contexts - and talk about groups of people who work creatively together, calling forth new realities through their interactions, nurturing linkages and relationships and bringing about an integral development process. But this is all too abstract.
I envision knowledge-holders from various fields, levels and backgrounds, sitting together and co-creating projects based on synergy and integration that help to refine, realise and replicate the values that they hold. Still too abstract? I hope to see units sitting together and talking about how they can work together to achieve common outcomes, involving the community in this process, helping them articulate their own values and visions, and then actually working together to help make these values and visions a reality.
I would not like to see separate units planning independently and expecting people on the next rung down to figure out how to coordinate things themselves.
Perhaps I will get a chance to see the extent to which this happens sooner than I imagine. Will these ideas form part of the discussions that follow the presentations of the 2nd and 3rd of June?
If there are underlying dynamics at work that need to be broken, how do I do it? What are my stealth tactics? Should I be measuring changes in relationships? At what speed do these relationships change? How do I measure this?
There is little doubt in my mind that there are underlying dynamics at work that need to be broken. The whole atmosphere gives off this feeling. There is a constant battle against negativity that has to be fought! This is not how it should be! But what are these dynamics?
To what extent do they emanate from people's own limitations and to what extent do they emerge from oppressive power structures within the organisation? And, perhaps more meaningfully, what is the equation between these two things? I am not completely sure that I can ever understand the totality of these dynamics - there are too many perspectives on this to end up with a really objective picture. And this is what leads me to think in categories like 'quality of relationships' or 'target versus social change'... 'Who talks?' is another big one...
And what are stealth tactics anyway? My understanding of stealth tactics is this: if i apply a model that exists within my mind without explaining to people what the model is (because I know that doing so would freak them out), then I am using stealth tactics. An example would be applying outcome mapping without actually ever using the words 'outcome mapping'. This can also back fire: trying to apply an open-space or spontaneous approach seems to terrify people who are more used to feeling in control of things. Knowing when to do what seems critical - all part of the learning process no doubt!
As for changing relationships... I feel pretty confident that this is the heart of what I am doing over here. A system can only truly be said to have changed when the nature of the relationships that define that system change. Is this too 'out there'? Is it too simplistic? Either way, I am quite convinced of it. What if one person changes their behaviour without being able to influence the behaviour of others in a way that could be said to amount to 'changing the behaviour of the system'? Well, it may seem nice but if it's not effective then it's really rather insignificant, which reminds of something I said somewhere: if a conversation doesn't translate into new action then it might as well not have happened! Rather extreme, but to the point! So obviously, I should be on the look out for these changes. Perhaps I need some categories for measuring them? Things like, did the zone worker argue their point in front of a senior? Did the zone worker question a strategy or activity? Did the zone worker challenge the way a decision was made? Did the zone worker get recognition (or were they considered to be just prattling nonsense?)... Something for me to work on, no doubt!
And so...
And so, all this leads me on to the topic of visions. Where are the visions? As I wrote a little earlier, I am a dreamer. I think - pretty much - in terms of visions. Without a vision, I wouldn't know why I am doing what I am doing. I wouldn't know how to even go about the task of thinking about how to go about the task of realising my vision if I didn't have a vision! I would be immobilised. But people don't seem to dream or imagine things on a very large scale. They don't seem to be hunting for that integral vision where all things are interlinked and working in synergy and people are open-minded and cooperative. There appears to be an inbuilt change negator at work! Why is this and how can it be broken?
Well, there is plenty for me to keep busy with. It's good to have gotten this off my chest for the day :)
What is the change that I expect to see? Will I recognise it when it comes about? What if it doesn't look like what I expected? Is it already happening?
This is probably where I need the most grounding. I am a dreamer. I tend to get carried away with fantastic images of these flexible, light, dynamic and evolving organisations that are continuously shifting shape with highly porous boundaries but gradually organising themselves around a set of core values - such as equality, truth, mutual respect and tolerance, environmental sustainability, inclusiveness... and so on... I can further concretise this in specific contexts - and talk about groups of people who work creatively together, calling forth new realities through their interactions, nurturing linkages and relationships and bringing about an integral development process. But this is all too abstract.
I envision knowledge-holders from various fields, levels and backgrounds, sitting together and co-creating projects based on synergy and integration that help to refine, realise and replicate the values that they hold. Still too abstract? I hope to see units sitting together and talking about how they can work together to achieve common outcomes, involving the community in this process, helping them articulate their own values and visions, and then actually working together to help make these values and visions a reality.
I would not like to see separate units planning independently and expecting people on the next rung down to figure out how to coordinate things themselves.
Perhaps I will get a chance to see the extent to which this happens sooner than I imagine. Will these ideas form part of the discussions that follow the presentations of the 2nd and 3rd of June?
If there are underlying dynamics at work that need to be broken, how do I do it? What are my stealth tactics? Should I be measuring changes in relationships? At what speed do these relationships change? How do I measure this?
There is little doubt in my mind that there are underlying dynamics at work that need to be broken. The whole atmosphere gives off this feeling. There is a constant battle against negativity that has to be fought! This is not how it should be! But what are these dynamics?
To what extent do they emanate from people's own limitations and to what extent do they emerge from oppressive power structures within the organisation? And, perhaps more meaningfully, what is the equation between these two things? I am not completely sure that I can ever understand the totality of these dynamics - there are too many perspectives on this to end up with a really objective picture. And this is what leads me to think in categories like 'quality of relationships' or 'target versus social change'... 'Who talks?' is another big one...
And what are stealth tactics anyway? My understanding of stealth tactics is this: if i apply a model that exists within my mind without explaining to people what the model is (because I know that doing so would freak them out), then I am using stealth tactics. An example would be applying outcome mapping without actually ever using the words 'outcome mapping'. This can also back fire: trying to apply an open-space or spontaneous approach seems to terrify people who are more used to feeling in control of things. Knowing when to do what seems critical - all part of the learning process no doubt!
As for changing relationships... I feel pretty confident that this is the heart of what I am doing over here. A system can only truly be said to have changed when the nature of the relationships that define that system change. Is this too 'out there'? Is it too simplistic? Either way, I am quite convinced of it. What if one person changes their behaviour without being able to influence the behaviour of others in a way that could be said to amount to 'changing the behaviour of the system'? Well, it may seem nice but if it's not effective then it's really rather insignificant, which reminds of something I said somewhere: if a conversation doesn't translate into new action then it might as well not have happened! Rather extreme, but to the point! So obviously, I should be on the look out for these changes. Perhaps I need some categories for measuring them? Things like, did the zone worker argue their point in front of a senior? Did the zone worker question a strategy or activity? Did the zone worker challenge the way a decision was made? Did the zone worker get recognition (or were they considered to be just prattling nonsense?)... Something for me to work on, no doubt!
And so...
And so, all this leads me on to the topic of visions. Where are the visions? As I wrote a little earlier, I am a dreamer. I think - pretty much - in terms of visions. Without a vision, I wouldn't know why I am doing what I am doing. I wouldn't know how to even go about the task of thinking about how to go about the task of realising my vision if I didn't have a vision! I would be immobilised. But people don't seem to dream or imagine things on a very large scale. They don't seem to be hunting for that integral vision where all things are interlinked and working in synergy and people are open-minded and cooperative. There appears to be an inbuilt change negator at work! Why is this and how can it be broken?
Well, there is plenty for me to keep busy with. It's good to have gotten this off my chest for the day :)
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