Hearing the Call

Even as I wrote the title of this blog, I found myself confused. Which goes to show just how things are at the moment. Working on a process of organisational change is a rather tricky thing indeed. For whom, exactly, are we changing? What is this change and why are we doing it? These may seem like obvious questions with equally clear answers. However, I assure you that they aren't. And the more I get caught up in the process, the harder it becomes for me to really know what is up and what is down.

Working in an organisation with a particular culture and achieving particular results gives out a particular feel. A feel about what is right, what is working and what isn't. There is another set of feelings, which is personal, deeply internal: what do I feel it should be. In between these two domains there is a kind of space. Focusing on that space makes me feel cross-eyed. Maybe that's because I feel tired. Is this the same space that I had referred to in an earlier blog? The one between the two extremes of the pendulum swing from organisational worldview to andre worldview? Because that was a kind of pleasant space, a state to be achieved, one much desired, where all is open and flowing and just how it should be.

This space, however, is the other extreme. It is incredibly dense, like a kind of thick, multi-demensional knot that clearly demarcates this from that. It is not possible to really comtemplate it. It seems, in a way, like what a paradigm shift would look like if you could see one; a kind of thick wall where almost all the rules, logic and outcomes on one side are distinct from all the rules, logic and outcomes on the other. This wall radiates energy so powerfully that it almost repels any sort of an attempt to cross from one side to the other... mainly by making whoever attempts go cross-eyed or that their brain is going to, quite simply, snap.

I think this is probably a sign that I need to rest :) If I want to hear that call, I had better turn off my system for a little while and let things cool down, let the knots unravel, eat some good food, go for a stroll and then sleep like a dog!

Thanks,

Andre